Me: "Yo, Boyfriend!"
Him: "I'm not yo boyfriend."
Me: "You my boyfriend!"
Him: "I'm NOT yo BOYFRIEND. I'm yo HUSBAND."
Me: "Yeah. So boyfriend! I want ice cream."
That last sentence isn't the weekly occurrence I'm talking about... usually... but the rest of that conversation is a basic summary of the usual. I insist on calling him "boyfriend," and he insists that he's NOT my boyfriend.
Often this is accompanied by Nathan telling me that it's "better" to have a husband than a boyfriend, to which I insist, that no, having a boyfriend is better.
I've attempted to explain this to him several times. And because today, as I was heading out the door to go to my graveyard shift, complaining about what I would do for the next 8 hours, my husband was really sweet and said, "You always write good blog posts, on graveyard..." I decided to write on this.
"Boyfriend" > Husband > boyfriend.
This is complicated math. But it's really quite simple. See, "Boyfriend" and boyfriend are not the same.
A boyfriend is someone temporary in your life. It's someone who you decided you'd date for awhile, get to know better, and is someone that makes you happy. They turn your stomach in giggle-fits, they make you blush with each hand-hold, and cause you to have nonsensical hour-long conversations with your girlfriends. Also, a boyfriend pays for all of your dates, your food, etc. Thank you boyfriends.
But boyfriends only last for so long, you see. Boyfriends graduate on to being either an "ex," or a "husband." This is the way of the world. In our society, often some believe boyfriends can graduate on to being "significant others," but really, that's just a fancy way of saying someone who doesn't want to commit to being your husband, but isn't ready to be your "ex" yet. And they don't want to pay for all the dates anymore, like boyfriends are supposed to. So they become your "significant other."
So, with my current "Boyfriend," we then came to the category of "husband." Husbands are a fun thing to have. Unlike boyfriends, though, having a "husband" is a legal thing. I had to pay money to have a husband. I had to go to the Social Security building and legally change my name, I had to go to work, and have THEM change my name, and go through the painstaking process of changing my name on ALL THE THINGS. And then they sold me a license to marry him, like a fishing license, and he became my husband.
Husbands are fun, don't get me wrong! Once you have a husband, you get to live in the same house as them, and budget your money together, and file taxes together. Husbands are really handy, because socially, there are things they're supposed to do for you, like fix your car, and open jars. (My "Boyfriend" did these things when he was still just my boyfriend anyway, but when they're a husband, they're supposed to.) When you have a husband, you have what it takes to be called a family! (We still only have each other, a beta fish, and a potted plant that we're trying to keep alive, but we're still a family!) When you have a husband, you have pictures taken of you and your husband, just to remind you that legally, you now have a husband. It's a very serious matter.
But now for the important part. Because remember, "Boyfriend" > Husband.
Someday, and only sometimes, your husband graduates from husband back to "boyfriend."
Unlike being the original boyfriend, this boyfriend isn't temporary - because he's also a husband. But just like the original boyfriend, this boyfriend is someone you are ACTIVELY deciding to be with, and getting to know better, because he is someone that makes you happy. They turn your stomach in giggle-fits, they make you blush with each hand-hold, and cause you to post nonsensical pictures of them, or information about them on social media or in giddy-filled texts to your friends, on a regular basis. Because they're your boyfriend.
This relationship is an active choice, and a happy one, at that. (Not like the active choice of going to work, Monday through Friday, or working graveyard shifts on the weekend, which is kind of like a chore, sometimes, too.) This relationship is something you are super excited to be a part of. It doesn't mean he's super-human - (he still needs to be reminded to pick up his shoes) - but it DOES mean that he's super-human to ME.
My boyfriend takes me out for ice cream when I just can't stand it anymore - and tells me that I'm prettier than the models I'm often jealous of. (My boyfriend is a little blind, even though he claims he has 20/20 vision. I'm happy to accept this disability.) My boyfriend always asks the question, "What can I do?" About everything!
My boyfriend is my complete opposite, which is just what I need! My boyfriend is ALWAYS willing to listen, and stands up for me when I'm feeling doubtful or am second-guessing the things that are important to me. My boyfriend is also willing to say, "Maybe look at it this way, instead." My boyfriend encourages me to be my best self every day, and is always pushing me to be better, with his humble, considerate attitude.
My boyfriend is ambitious, and has strong hopes, dreams, and goals for himself. He also has a crazy collection of ties. My boyfriend waits to start the dishwasher until I'm getting home from work, so I can hear it running when I come in the door - which reminds me that my boyfriend is continually trying to woo me, and impress me. (Because let's be honest, sometimes I don't notice if he did the dishes or not! And he wants me to know, in a "I did the dishes," flirtatious kind of way.)
When I first started dating my boyfriend, and he was just my boyfriend, people asked me what I liked about him. I usually said things like, "He's cute." "He does a great Gollum impersonation." "He can lift heavy objects." Things like that. And those things are still true, plus I continue to discover more and more things about him, which only add to that original "amazing qualities about my boyfriend" list.
Legally, he's my husband. But seriously? He's still my boyfriend! I choose to be with him, every single day, because he still makes me happy, still makes me blush, and still makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl alive, for what I have today. Husbands are great, and I'd recommend getting one to anyone - (Like getting a massage. You've got to try it!) - but boyfriends are better. Legally, your husband is your husband. But boyfriends? They're a choice.
